Hehe... Galpin Ford.
Some others, maybe:
"BRING BACK HURDLES"
"I (HEART) DOUBLE OVERBIDS"
"SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL PUPPY MILL"
"GREETINGS! FROM VA'A-O-FONOTI, SAMOA!"
"I HAVEN'T HAD MY MEDICATION TODAY -- HUG ME!"
"I MURDERED PROFESSOR PRICE"
"BARKER FEARS JEFF PROBST"
"HAPPY GILMORE WAS TEDIOUS, DULL AND HAD A WEAK PLOT"
"ALL YOUR PLINKO ARE BELONG TO US"
"I CAME TO PLAY ADD 'EM UP"
"WHAT THE WORLD NEEDS NOW IS ANOTHER SYNDICATED DAYTIME TALK SHOW"
"RICH FIELDS IS MY GARDENER"
"AMERICAN CARS SUCK"
"COLLEGE IS 4 LOOZURS"
"I GOT UP AT 4:30 IN THE MORNING FOR THIS?!"
"I SLEEP ON A BUS STOP BENCH ON BEVERLY AND FAIRFAX"
"DOLPHINS AND FRIENDS CRACKERS MADE MY COUSIN GO BLIND"
"GOLF IS FOR MEN WHO CAN'T HUNT OR FISH"
"SMASH CAPITALISM"
"VEGETARIAN: INDIAN WORD FOR 'LOUSY HUNTER'"
"I HAVE SUPER BALLS"
"I'M SORRY, I WASN'T PAYING ATTENTION TO THE RULES OF CHECK GAME"
"HEY, I CAN YODEL JUST LIKE HANS! WANNA LISTEN?"
"32 YEARS... AND TO THINK THEY CANCELLED SPIN-OFF AFTER 13 WEEKS"
"HEY ZUBAYDAH, WANNA PLAY THE SHOWER GAME BACK AT MY PLACE?"
And finally, a shirt I actually own...
"FOR EVERY ANIMAL YOU DON'T EAT, I'M GOING TO EAT THREE"